English Muffin

Thou lookest like a crumpet,
But thou dost taste like dry toast.
Cannot even marmalade
Rid thee of thy aridness?

But lo, hearken unto me,
For there art bacon!
Not good back bacon
Just greasy, streaky shit
For moisturiser, perchance.

Muffin and bacon.
Bacon and muffin.
Two nebulous universes collide
Within thy salty embrace.

To My Cat

Hairy pussy, how I love thee.
You've got claws and teeth and a tail
And ears and whiskers
And eyes that glow in the dark
And shit.

You use a litter box as your toilet.
So do I.
We're soulmates, my puss.
You smell of saliva and piss
And so do I now.

I wonder if you think about mice
Like Jerry or Speedy Gonzalez.
Maybe you don't because you're a cat.
Or maybe you do.
Does it even matter?

No, don't bite me!
Stop biting me!
I'll feed you with my love
And biscuits.

You love Mars bars, don't you?

Muse

Wind and piss
And curry-stained lips.
We all march on like angels
Engulfed in cowshit.

Immolated rats
Searing the skies like comets.
Are there really lilac cows
In Austria?

Too late.
We die before we are born.
Hail Mary and Sister Agnes!
I see the rainbow.

Bollocks

Oh bollocks, bollocks, bollocks.
Big hairy sweaty bollocks.
Some call them testicles,
But to me they're just talking bollocks.

Furry balls,
Like a human brain when cold
Or just out of the swimming pool.
They're bollocks.
It's all bollocks.

Bollocks, rise up and be proud!
Don't hide your hairiness under a bushel.
Just because you get vinegary,
It doesn't make you any less bollocky.

Bollocks, I love you.
Bollocks.
Bollocks.
Bollocks.