Fizzy wizzy on my tonguey,
Bubbly gluggly in my belly.
Oh, Monster, you appease me.
You even turn my weewee grapey.
Your black and green can
Is the stuff of legend;
Icy from the fridge
Like a demonic bellend.
Some say your logo is Satanic,
Like Hebrew numbers for six-six-six.
"Release the beast," you say.
To which I reply, "Alrightly then, okay."
I can't admit that you give me energy.
I'm more likely to sleep
Than go out and play.
But then I'm weird like that
Anyway.
Oh, Monster, I adore you.
Now I must run quickly
To the toilet
To have an enormous poo.
